Do you want to know the secret to unlocking your full potential? Perhaps you find yourself with less energy then you previously had, or maybe you are seeking to become your best self? Whatever it is you are looking for I have it right here in this article for you, and its free.
Are you buying the clickbait that I am laying down hard? I do have something for you, and it might change your life, or might be something you already know. It might be something that someone has told you a million times, but here we are. I want to introduce perspective.
If I was in high school I would start by using a Webster’s dictionary definition of what perspective is. I’m not, and you can Google that yourself (I think Bing can look it up to). I want to tell a story of a criminal, and let you determine for yourself a perspective.
Johnathan steals a loaf of bread from his local gas station. He slides it up his bulky hoodie when he thinks no one is looking around. As he is about to leave the cashier confronts him telling him to give it back, or have the police called on him. John runs out of the store to his home. After a little investigating the police find and arrest John of petty theft. He must return the property and pay a fine. These are the facts of the situation.
Why did John steal the bread?
Well, there are any number of reasons that he could have stolen the bread. Maybe it’s a mental condition where he feels he must steal, maybe it’s because he must prove something to someone, or maybe he steals because he is hungry with all other means being exhausted.
The point I am trying to make is that we placed a judgement on John based on what he did. I hear stories and read them online of people making terrible choices that I would never even consider in my life. When I was a resident assistant at a college several of my residents stole traffic cones, I had people who I worked with in detention centers who made meth. I know of a lot of people who did things that in my mind made no sense to me. I placed judgement on a person based off actions that I was not a part of.
I do this almost every day still, and I rarely catch myself before I make the judgment. In that past I have done things that made no logical sense to other people. I tried drifting a car only to hit a stop sign causing thousands of dollars in damage. Anyone who looked at that facts of that story without my perspective could conclude that I was deviant, or otherwise incapable of being trusted with my actions.
In recent months I have found myself working to improve my outlook of others, and the world around me. People will do things that seem illogical to me, and I have to take a moment to step back out of the frame of mind of judgement to try and see things from a different perspective. In the situation of John by just reading the facts and having to work with someone like John I cannot just judge him saying, “Well you know that stealing is illegal.” That is redundant as everyone else is telling him that, I should instead ask him “why”.
When my wife and I argue it’s because one of us doesn’t understand the perspective of the other. Of course, we are both right in our minds, but instead of arguing what we should be doing, we should instead discuss why we want to do them. What is the motivation of waiting to clean on Sunday verse right now. Why do we need to go to New York to visit family when they can come this way? Why are we saving for this service when the other service works just fine?
In your life you will interact with people, and have those moments when you think, “Is this person serious?” Instead of placing judgement on them try to come from a different angle and ask why they are doing this. Try to understand where people are coming form.
We all come from different backgrounds with the idea that our way is the right way, but if we tilt our perspective we can begin to understand those around us in a new light. Without being harsh or judgmental we can affect better change with those around us getting what we want while still understanding the person who is talking to us.
This is in no way trying to excuse illegal, or unwanted behavior. It is a way to understand others, so we can begin to work with those who are the most difficult in our life finding a middle ground. I recently had a cousin who stole from us. The total that she stole was about three hundred dollars while we were away trying to start a life. Without getting to much into detail of her life by changing my perspective I could see why she stole from us, and even empathize with it. I don’t condone what happened, or the actions she took. I also cannot change what happened. I can only move forward knowing what I know and grow past the hurt I feel.
This is a difficult topic to discuss with others as most people will have a knee jerk reaction of “Well what about this situation, should I empathize with this?” My answer is your life is your own, and what you do with it is up to you. I am only offering the advice that when I take some time to see another person’s view that I disagree with I no longer see them as an enemy, or person who wants to harm me. I see them as human capable of making mistakes and hurting others. Just like I am.
Part of my blog, if you are unfamiliar with it, is self-growth to be the person I envision for myself. I want to envision in myself a person who can be talked to about difficult problems without judgement and looking in a new lens. I do this, so I can help those I love, and those who I don’t care for. I don’t excuse the deviant behaviors, but I try to see them as human to forgive them for me. I cannot hold onto grudges anymore, or what I see as mistakes others have done. At some point I have to let it all go and accept I have done bad things I hope others can forgive me.